Even though on some occasions I do post something serious around here (hence the existence of “Personal” and “RAGE” categories), I wish to keep this website geared more towards fanservice featuring creepy, gooey-eyed anime girls and my geeky tendencies to talk about my personal hobbies and interest. It is with great regret despite my wish to avoid bringing about such topics, one little online drama last weekend sparked every kilogrammes of coal in my train of thought to travel all the way to Timbuktu and back without even resolving the desecration of tombs and ancient manuscripts there one bit. Mind you, nothing changes, and nothing ever will in this world. As with you. Why? Bear with the awesomely long post and read.
Last Sunday I thought that “hey, why the hell am I spending too much time indoors on such a fine weekend” so I decided that I should make both Saturday and Sunday as Internet halfday, where upon reaching the maximum threshold of mid-afternoon (2PM or 3PM), I would instantenously shut the Internet down for good and go outside until late at night. Even my daily Pisces horoscope Tweet last Sunday said “go out and have some fun you pretentious piece of shit”, and I did. List of things I did last Sunday:
1. Got outside (AAAH, SUNLIGHT! IT BURNS!).
2. Smoked some carbon monoxide (mmm, downtown).
3. Bought Crispy Creme doughnuts (mmm, British teeth).
4. Bought Chatime (mmm, overrated).
5. Fetched my Tamron 70 – 300mm zoom lens from Plaza Lowyat (Stalking Mode, ON!).
6. Get around snapping pictures around Bukit Bintang pretending I enjoyed the iPhone 4′s camera more than a dedicated camera (so hipster Instagram rejects me).
7. Had fun (what is this F-U-N that you speak of?).
And then I’m down to two things for the night:
A. Watch The Amazing Spiderman (Paradigm Mall is just next door).
B. Watch conspiracy videos (because Deus Ex was right).
Having the sovereign territory of my profile inundated with several videos by the usual kinds of people who throws the sour aftertaste of religion into world politics, I thought, “well, I could watch TAS some other time” and with a large mug of coffee and a box of Meiji crackers at hand, I went with four hours worth of option B; coffee refills, toilet breaks, and going after cockroaches notwithstanding. Watching those videos with fervent enthusiasm, needless to say I was left amazed, aghast, and disgusted from what I’ve learned about 9/11, the economy, and the bad folks responsible for the downfall of Islam, then my stomach croaked like a bastard (goddamn these Japanese crackers didn’t do the trick). So my instinct redirected me to a nearby 24 hour McDonalds (best Halal restaurant in Malaysia), which is within 15 minutes of walking distance from my apartment.
As I went to the 24 hour McDonalds and paid for my Quarter Pounder with worthless, Antichrist approved paper money instead of a valued gold Dinar and sipped away on a regular-sized Coca-Cola worth ten Israeli rifle rounds, the thought of well-placed demolition charges and deliberate intelligence failure on 9/11 crossed my head once more, just as it did when I first picked up a book titled September 11, 2001: The Great Deception: How and Why America was Attacked by Nafeez Mosaddeq Ahmed back in 2003. I had previously read and knew about the CIA’s monitoring of Osama bin Laden as far back as 1993, FBI’s warning of the radicalization of disenfranchised American Muslims by foreign terrorist cells back in 1999, and something called the Bonjinka Plot uncovered in the Philippines in 1995, plus three months worth of faxed warning to the CIA and Washington prior to 9/11. So what did I change by knowing all this? Nothing, nothing really, besides knowing it. The videos I watched and spent four hours in before reaching McD adds up to everything I know of, but there’s nothing new to add on the discussion table. Same old Jews, same old western capitalists, same old Muslims blaming it on the other guys (and the Antichrist). Of the things that we complicate ourselves in our daily lives, we tend to miss that one tiny big picture: ourselves. Who are we in a sea of covert deception and curtains down conspiracy plots? Complete nobodies who influences no outcome in world affairs. These things happen and it will continue to happen and knowing it only means you knew of it, but nothing can be stopped. We’re not Adam Jensen or Max Payne, and becoming Chuck Norris only makes you a Republican stooge.
All this complex thought processing made me view in retrospect that attempted suicide at my apartment block last Saturday and how it relates to the discourse we’re currently in. Even if it really did successfully happen, one spectacle and a single flatlining EKG won’t be of any significant change of weekend frolicking by shoppers in Paradigm Mall, or any surrounding malls, or any of your lives that day, the 27+ million of us in Malaysia feeding the economy of our country, for that matter.
Where was I during the September 11th 2001 attack? I had just woken up from my sleep (with a rather foreshadowing nightmare of crashing planes). Where was I during the 2010 Gaza flotilla raid? I was walking to my campus. Where was I during the 2011 Norway shooting spree? I was making coffee. Where was I during countless drone strikes and suicide bombings that claimed so many lives over the decade in Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Iraq? I was in front of any computers checking the newsfeeds. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who went through such mundane routine while the rest of the world went FUBAR in bloody chaotic mess. We all saw the breaking news, the recorded video feeds and reports as it happened. We felt both disturbed and disgusted at the atrocities that occured, but within minutes we flipped back to updating our social network status and gossiping, resuming our mundane daily routine once more. The floods of images of war and dead bodies we’ve seen throughout living our lives in the information age is nothing new despite its morbidity. Again, seeing it changes nothing other than knowing about it, and really, there’s nothing too bad about that. It’s just us acknowledging our daily priorities over ones that could never be accomplished by any means.
Life goes on, even when our lives are quietly surrounded by crazy boogeymen and well-connected business crooks running world affairs behind the scenes (and of course, the Antichrist, just because). As long as you don’t get your toes stepped on or your personal space forcefully invaded, no harm done, right? Ignorance, no matter how awful it could be on certain context, can be a surprisingly cheerful bliss. Let us eat cake and laugh while heads roll elsewhere in Durkadurkastan!
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